Leadership Lesson From a 7 Year old

I observed something interesting at my family Thanksgiving dinner yesterday. I watched as 3 little girls were playing outside as the adults were eating. The oldest girl (she is 10) was very loud and assertive. At first it appeared that she was "the boss" and she was constantly directing the group of girls towards what she wanted to do. The youngest of the three (she is 5) was the quietest and least assertive of the group. I don't think I heard her say a word the entire time. She was happy to follow them around and stay out of the way. But the middle girl (she is 7) is the one that intrigued me the most. I watched as she kept whispering in the ear of the older girl...just before the older girl's "decrees" to the group. She seemed fairly quiet and unassuming, but I finally realized that she was telling the older girl what SHE wanted to do. The middle girl was the one leading the group!

We can all learn alot about leadership from this little girl. She knew that the one who is in the position of leader isn't always the one leading the team. The loud, assertive, bossy girl wasn't the leader at all...it was the little quiet girl "whispering" her ideas. As a leader, IS YOUR GOAL TO LOOK LIKE THE LEADER OR BE THE LEADER? Who's ear should you be whispering in?

Thankful

Have I told you lately...that I appreciate you? It doesn't make for a very good love song, but it's music to the ears of the people you work with. I received an email yesterday that said "I appreciate you" and it was so out of place that it made me think..."Have we lost our ability to value the people around us?" We spend most of our time either trying to convince OURSELVES that we are as good as everyone else...or trying to convince OTHERS that we are better than they are.

But, what if you woke up tomorrow and all of the people in your life were no longer there?

As a leader we must never forget that our job is first and foremost about people. A leader without people to lead isn't a leader at all. If you're leading and no one is following you're simply taking a walk. Tell someone you appreciate them today...not because of the "effect" it will have on them...but because you've thought about what your life would be like without them...I appreciate you taking the time to read this. Thanks.

Dance Monkey Dance!

What do the people around you expect from you? If you're a bossy person then maybe they expect you to assert yourself to get your way. If you're an introvert then maybe they expect you to keep to yourself and appear shy. I am a parent, and I can already see that I have certain expectations of what my child will do in certain situations. I don't really know how my daughter will react to anything... I only know how she has reacted in the past. No one REALLY knows what you are capable of. They only know what you've shown them up until now.

So, how does this relate to leadership? Well, I'm glad you asked. If you are in a position of "leadership", there are certain things that are expected of you. You are expected to be in control of your team. You are expected to delegate. You are expected to have all the answers...and so on. But what are you NOT expected to do? Maybe its sitting down with the janitor and asking him "What do you think about this?" Or maybe its coming into work and actually laughing and enjoying your team. So, what if you aren't in a "leadership" position? You are expected to do as you're told. You are expected to perform 100% of your job duties. You are expected to get along with your teammates. But what are you NOT expected to do? Maybe you can do 100% of your job duties...and then 10% of a job you don't get paid to do! Maybe, instead of just getting along with your teammates...you get together and brainstorm ways to make your team more productive.

Any decent person can do what's expected of him.... But what are the people around you NOT expecting? If you do the unexpected...you'll never lack influence!

Why?

Those who know "what" will always work for those who know "why". This is one of the greatest issues of leadership. You can call it a matter of the heart, being committed to a cause, or just instinct...but it's what separates the leader from the follower. Positional leadership has always said "Do this or that" with the assumption that the hearer would walk away and do as he was told...as any good employee would. But why? At what point did we label this dead-headed behavior as acceptable. A good leader should encourage his team to question him. As a leader, IF NO ONE IS ASKING YOU WHY THEN NO ONE IS REALLY INFLUENCED BY YOU. They are just order-takers. They are only influenced by your position! When they ask WHY they are trying to get a glimpse into how you think and operate. This is the core difference between positional (traditional, downwards, controlling) leadership and leading to the side.

I may not be the boss and I may not have "president" on my door...but there's just something about the way I think and make decisions that makes the people beside me say....WHY?

Welcome

This blog is for all of you leaders out there who aren't necessarily "the boss". You don't have the title or the position...but you have the influence. I look forward to learning with you! Stay Tuned...

Who's the Boss?

As a fellow leader, I've searched all over for resources to make me better at leading people...only to find that what most people call "leadership" is simply management from a position of authority. Anyone can "lead" from a position. Even a monkey can say "Do X because I'm the boss!" This is simply leading downwards. You're followed because you are somehow above your followers. Leading without a position, however, is a whole different ball game. It's leading to the side...